Saeed al-Sahhaf Steals Car, Burns American Flags and Graffiti’s US Tanks but doesn’t get arrested

1st June 2003

It has been revealed that the former Iraqi Information Minister, Saeed al-Sahhaf, is still alive and in living at his aunt’s house in Baghdad. It was widely believed that the minister had killed himself following the capturing of the Iraqi Capital by US Forces.

Mr Sahhaf has desperately been trying to secure his arrest by US Forces but they have rejected his request as he does not appear as one of the targets on their pack of 55 cards issued by US Central Command.

Following this rejection, Mr Sahhaf has gone to extreme lengths to try andsecure his arrest.

Firstly he stole a car in broad daylight, driving it around dangerously and irresponsibly but US Forces still refused to arrest him as he was not breaking his curfew.

Secondly, he got a large stockpile of American Flags and poured petrol over them and burned them but the US Forces did not react claiming that following the two incidents of US troops raising the US Flag in Iraq they had been told to respect the view of Iraqis on this matter and ignore any confrontations.

Finally, he has taken to spray painting “YOU DO NOT EXIST” on the sides of US Tanks in an effort to get them to arrest them but George W Bush personally intervened on this matter, claiming he found Mr Sahhaf’s actions as “incredibly amusing” and that he considered the Iraqi Minister to be his “main man.”