Beckhams Buy France

8th June 2003

Following several weeks of negotiations, David and Victorian Beckham have closed a deal which grants them full ownership of France it has emerged.

Originally it was believed they just intended to buy a holiday villa but the couple could not settle on one so instead decided that they’d buy the entire country to satisfy everyone.

“Well David wanted a nice quiet one that was secluded and out of the way so we got some peace and quiet making it peaceful,” Victoria Beckham explained, “However I wanted a bright colourful one where everyone could see it with some obscure pattern that’s going to be in fashion next year because I bought a house with it on.

“However, we couldn’t reach a compromise so decided we might as well buy the whole country. I mean, we’d drawn all the money out in cash so Brooklyn could make a life-sized papier-mâché model of Wembley Stadium but I guess he’ll have to wait until next year.”

Many have dismissed the purchase claiming it is simply a show of wealth whilst others it was unnecessary, claiming that instead of buying France they should have just declared war on it and they would have surrendered.