|Sex Banned in School Prospectus - May 8th 2003|
The word ‘Sex’ was outlawed from the Student’s version of a School Prospectus today, under the grounds that it was inappropriate to allude to topics that might spark controversy amongst angry parents.
It was claimed that whilst 16 year olds had reached the age of consent and it was therefore perfectly fine for them to have as much sex as they get – the prospectus could fall into the hands of those younger than 16 and might encourage them in to doing something they were not ready for.
The producers of the prospectus were livid to hear the verdict of the prospectus’s censors:
“I can’t believe it, it’s totally ridiculous. When you get to 15 if you're not having sex you definitely know someone who is.”
The prospectus itself did not deal with the notion of students having sex, but was referring to the material studied in Classical Literature – a government approved subject which studies text in which Caligula rips his unborn child from his sister’s womb and eats it – or takes a horse to bed on black satin sheets.
When this was suggested to the censors their view remained unchanged:
“Look, when the students study this text they are in the Sixth Form and are therefore are at least 16, if not older. If they then choose to go on and have sex with horses they are perfectly entitled to.”
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