Bill Clinton Offers to Search for Saddam Hussein on Cyber Sex Chat rooms

7th June 2003

The White House has confirmed today that former President Clinton has offered his services to the current US Administration in the search for Saddam Hussein, and Osama Bin Laden.

The former occupant of the White House said that he felt it was his duty as a former President to ensure the US was not duped by the two notorious villains and said that he would come into the White House and assist the search by browsing Cyber Sex chatrooms for the two men.

George W. Bush was delighted with Mr Clinton’s offer and immediately assigned him a workstation telling him that he could start right away.

George Bush later revealed that the plan seemed to have worked and they now had arrested someone, a middle aged man from Los Angeles, who they believe could be one of the two suspects. Although he doesn’t look similar to either man he is reportedly extremely obese and has ‘dodgy’ facial hair leading Mr. Bush’s top advisors to believe that it could be due to some radical cosmetic surgery:

White House officials offered us the following chat transcript that led to the arrest:

Billie_C: Hello babe, I'm Bill Clinton former President of the United States

HOTchick: Ooo, a president. Wanna cyber?

Billie_C: Well, I was suppose to be doing a friend a favor, but as you asked sooo nicely... Would you like to see the Oval Office?

HOTchick: I thought you'd never ask ;) Please, show me everything.

Billie_C: What everything in the White House? ;)

HOTchick: hee-hee, I think you know what I mean...

DUBYA: WOW!!!! GD WORK BILL. THIS LOOKS LIKE IT CUD B OSAMMA OR SADDAM HOOSAIN. THAY 1T 2 GET IN THE WITEHOWSE.

HOTchick: Who's this??

Billie_C: How'd you get in here George? This is a private channel.

DUBYA: I FORT U MITE NEED ME 2 HELP U SO I GOT MI FREND DONALD TO ADD ME 2 UR CONVO.

HOTchick: You weirdo!!

Billie_C: Erm, George. I don't suppose you could give me five minutes to finish 'questioning' the suspect?

HOTchick: Ok, I'm freaked out, I'm sure I just heard someone outside in my hallway.

DUBYA: THATS OK BILL. U DON'T NEED 2. THE FBI TRAYSED THE USERS IP AND R ABOUT TO STORM THEIR HOWSE.

HOTchick: Help... there's someol;;;'''''''#

****[ HOTchick has disconnected ]****

DUBYA: WAHHEY. I THINK U HELPED US CATCH A TERRURISST BILL. GD TEEM-WURK.