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>> News > United States
Bush Gets Lost on Middle East Roadmap and Demands Wal-Mart Disarms - May 11th 2003

President Bush has given Wal-Mart 48 hours to begin disarming as of 1200GMT today. According to the President after following the Roadmap, they had reached Wal-Mart and thus the corporation should immediately begin disarmament in the interests of World Peace.

Wal-Mart responded by asking the question: “Disarm what? We’re not a terrorist group, we’re a superstore.”

President Bush agreed with part of their claim:

“Yes, they are a superstore – a superstore for Terrorists to buy weapons of mass destruction.”

Wal-Mart claimed they had no idea what George Bush was on as Wal-Mart did not even own Weapons of Mass Destruction, let alone sell them in any of its superstores.

“That’s what Iraq claimed.” The President retorted, “But we soon showed them!”

Wal-Mart responded by pointing out that the US Forces had yet to find any Weapons of Mass Destruction. However they did admit that they sold the board game “Risk” that was discovered in Tariq Aziz’s apartment by a British Journalist.

Just as George Bush came out to make a formal declaration of war on Wal-Mart, Colin Powell quickly pulled him away and explained to the press that the President had inadvertently picked up a Washington Streetmap after getting lost on the Middle East Roadmap, thus explaining his irrational actions.

George Bush immediately returned to the podium and apologised to Wal-Mart for his accusations and also retracted the meat sanctions he had imposed on McDonalds earlier in the day.

McDonalds announced that the sanctions had been of little consequence as it wasn’t a market that they really dealt in.

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