First French Troops Surrender In Haiti

1st March 2004

After spending at least five minutes in action in Haiti, it has been reported that the first group of French troops have surrendered, when an elderly local woman approached them in an “almost menacing manner.” It is believed they are currently being held hostage, having to endure stories about how much life was better in the old days, and being force fed home cooked cakes.

The French Government has so far been unable to contact the woman holding their troops, but insists it will use only their bravest diplomats to secure their release, just in case the woman starts shouting or speaking slightly fast.

Meanwhile, American and Canadian forces are believed to be making progress in bring some form of peace keeping order to the capital, but are puzzled as to why the majority of the French troops have yet to disembark from their transport boats.

According to the French Government, the troops will disembark once the tide has gone out as they don’t want to get their feet wet.