George Bush has announced his intentions to demolish the Abu Ghraib prison in the hope that some of the international embarrassment sustained from the actions of US troops there will disappear with it. The Abu Ghraib prison was at the centre of recent media attention in Iraq after dozens of photographs showing US troops torturing Iraqi prisoners emerged.

The release of the pictures soon cast a serious cloud over the already controversial invasion – Saddam Hussein’s human right’s record was at the top of the post war justifications. President Bush was quick to explain these anomalies:

“It is true that evidence has come to light showing prison abuse at the hands of US troops,” the President admitted, “However, recent evidence has come to light showing it is not the fault of those US troops involved. As many people have pointed out, Saddam Hussein had some pretty nasty human rights abuses committed there. All sorts of nasty torture. The CIA had put this down to the fact Saddam was a nasty character and these incidents would stop.

“However, after we removed Saddam the abuses continued to take place, only at the hands of our good and decent soldiers. Therefore there is only one conclusion – the Abu Ghraib prison is haunted and is possessing those inside to commit these evil deeds. I therefore declare my intention to have the Abu Ghraib prison destroyed to prevent this from happening any more.”

The film producer Michael Moore was quick to criticise the President explaining he had footage from his film Fahrenheit 9/11 showing mistreatment of Iraqis outside of Abu Ghraib. The President reminded Michael Moore that his evidence came from a film and films are not real.

Iraqis have been quick to condemn Bush’s decision to destroy the prison. They believe that the needs of the Iraqi people should outweigh the needs of Mr Bush’s 2004 election campaign. Mr Bush reminded them that their needs had been a major concern of his election campaign back in 2003, however that all changed when they started killing US soldiers on a daily basis.

The Iraqis claimed to have many plans for how to use the prison in a future society. Many had already booked tickets to 2005’s “Abu Ghraib Reunited” where past inmates plan to meet up to see how well each others scars have healed since their past ordeals. Donald Rumsfeld has asked the commission if he can be guest of honour as he believes his scars will last a long time past the 2004 elections.