|“I smoke 40 a day” George Bush Tells Koreans - January 10th 2004|
George W. Bush has told the people of North and South Korean that he heavily endorses the smoking of cigarettes and has advised them all to do the same. The US President has claimed that the pastime is so great that he now smokes between 40 and 50 cigarettes a day.
The move goes against the traditional line that Western figureheads take on the subject, with the majority of Governments and Celebrities heavily criticising the industry for getting its users addicted to poison.
Recently, the North Korean leader Kim Jong-il announced that he was giving up smoking and advised his countrymen to do the same. With 22million out of 40million people smoking in North Korea it is one of the largest cigarettes markets in the world. George Bush insists that his endorsement is not an effort to prevent a collapse in a market sector that is heavily support by US industry.
The President gave an informal press conference, during which Laura came in and presented him with a packet of cigarettes.
“Ah Marlboro’s. My favourite cigarettes.” The President announced, like any normal cigarette smoker would he claims.
The President proceeded to try and tear the cellophane wrapper with his teeth before it was pointed out to him there was predefined tear strip that allowed easy access to the inside of the packaging.
The President briefly examined the packaging before lighting up:
“Oh, the surgeon general’s left me a note on this packet.” He commented, and proceeded to take a long puff from the lighted cigarette.
Without warning, Mr Bush exploded into a violent coughing fit, dropping the cigarette onto his favourite rug which burst into flames. Quick witted reporters immediately leapt to the President’s aid, putting out the flames with fire extinguishers and heavily patting him on the back to stop his coughing.
Following the incident, the White House has released a statement explaining that the coughing incident had nothing to do with the cigarette the President was smoking and had been caused by partially digested pretzel.
They later added that they did not believe Koreans, or anyone else, should stop buying Pretzels – which, whilst not as vital to the US economy as the cigarettes manufacturers, are still an important US industry.
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