People attempting to illegally copy CDs, DVDs or Computer Games were dealt a serious blow today when the FBI announced plans to put a new anti piracy logo on all products sold in the United States. It is hoped that by putting the warning label on the products, people will be deterred from illegally copying the product and distributing it on the Internet or on the black market. Initial tests have proved positive and it is believed the logo is having an effect:

“I went to the local music store,” an ex Music Pirate explained to us, “And it was my intention to burn all of the hit singles I bought to CD-Rs and then flog them at school for a cut down price. But I saw the new FBI logo and I was like ‘Whoaaaa, I can’t possibly do it now.’ So I shoplifted 50 copies instead and sold them on. At least I won’t have the FBI on my back.”

It is not just the small time crooks that the logo is having an effect on. Larger scale pirates are worried the label might possess some magical powers, or possibly hide a miniature spy camera that monitors their activities.

“I just don’t get it,” Keith Wilson, the head of an international piracy group said, “Why would the FBI go to great lengths to design a stupid logo and stop there. Its not a very proactive way of preventing piracy, I would have thought they’d be hunting us down the good old-fashioned way. And what happens if I buy a CD without the sticker on – does that mean it’s ok to pirate it?”

The FBI's new logo is so scary it is hoped it will terrify small children and potential pirates.

Many pirates have given up and have switched crimes altogether:

“According to this information pack provided with the logo, fighting cyber crime is the FBI’s number three priority after terrorism and conducting counter intelligence. Well if that’s the case I’m becoming a heroin dealer and a hired killer, the piracy trade is just too dangerous to be involved with now.”