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>> News > Internet
Webmaster Annoyed Major News Story Didn’t Happen In Time For 200th Article - February 22nd 2004

The Webmaster of Random Perspective has felt let down by current affairs that some major news story did not happen in time for his 200th Article.

“It has been slightly annoying,” Ben Dickson, the Webmaster of Random Perspective, explained to himself, “I was hoping for some major political blunder to happen and write a classic satire article – instead I’ve just had to contrive a story for the sake of it.”

When asked what sort of story he would have liked, Mr Dickson shrugged and said:

“I’m not entirely sure. You can normally trust the Tories to say something absurd, like the time Iain Duncan Smith said he wanted to shoot Tony Blair – but Michael Howard doesn’t seem to be saying anything, except that ridiculous ‘British Dream’ speech. Look I’ll level with you, I couldn’t think up anything particularly great on that issue,”

Critics of Mr Dickson have pointed out there are several major stories he could have parodied, and that he is just peddling the “No News” outburst as an excuse to list some of his favourite stories from the last 100 he wrote:

“How ridiculous. That would be very unprofessional of me.”

He therefore posed himself the question of which articles he would list if he were just using it as an excuse:

“Well the first good one I wrote was the one about shops ripping off kids for Father’s Day.

“I also expressed my annoyance with people saying how great Harry Potter just because it got kids to read with this little gem.

“July had quite a few great articles, that one about teachers, the No Back Entry one – and of course the BRITNEY SPEARS NAKED article. I had loads of people looking for Britney Spears Nude look at that page.

“In August I did a clever little piece arguing against News Satire sites being nothing but Onion Rip Offs – but I don’t think majority of the people realised what I was going on about.

“September saw an article a mate of mine inspired – he joked it would be great to be a policeman because you could beat up tramps without consequence. I think he was joking – at least I hope he was.

“October was the last month with regular updates before I stopped updating for 2 months – it has two hit stories, one about the World’s Smallest Phone, the other about protecting your computer from viruses.

“This year’s seen too many great articles to list. In fact, there’s loads of good stuff on here. You’d best check it all out for yourself in our archives.”

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The content on this website is satirical and thus many reports are unsubstantiated and therefore should not be considered factual. The use of major brands and corporations is used in good humour in order to improve the impact of the writing. Under no circumstances should you believe anything that could be considered defamatory without first checking it against a major news source.

IMPORTANT: If you do not appreciate or understand this article please consult your doctor as your right ventromedial prefrontal cortex is impaired.
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