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>> News > Entertainment
New Sex Play Requires Complete Attention of Scotland Yard - April 25th 2003

A new controversial sex play launched in London this week has required the complete attention of Scotland Yard to ensure it does not break any public decency laws.

The play, subtly entitled XXX is based on an 18th century book called “Philosopy in the Bedroom.” Its producers claim the play is intended to “challenge the boundaries of what is acceptable without moral judgement.” The show features the actors performing a variety of simulated sexual experiences and invites audience participation as audience members can text messages describing their sexual fantasies and even come on stage to perform them.

However, due to the nature of the performance, there have been numerous protests over the play’s content and therefore Scotland Yard launched its investigation to check for any misconduct.

Initially, the investigation was intended to be quite minor, but as each report was handed from senior officer, to senior officer, resources diverted to the production increased exponentially until all of Scotland Yard was involved.

When questioned about the involvement of Scotland Yard in its entirety a senior officer explained to us:

“Initially we thought it was just a case of a little bit of nudity like in plays like The Graduate. However once we found out about this audience participation thing, (it was one of several things that came up in a staff meeting) it was unanimously decided that all of the senior members of Scotland Yard should be present at it’s vetting.

“When the minutes of this meeting were revealed to the rest of Scotland Yard, a brief meeting with the head of their Union was prompted and we agreed that the seriousness of this play required the attention of all of Scotland Yard and we have thus spent the last week checking, and double checking that it doesn’t break any laws.”

“We explained to the heads of Scotland Yard that they are the experts when it comes of murders and bank robbing.” The Union Leader revealed, “But when it comes to this sort of thing I don’t think that your rank in the police force is any indication of your experience in this department. Thus we explained that it was definitely necessary for us all to be present just in case one of the senior officers missed something.”

Scotland Yard’s final report was inconclusive.

“Whilst we are relatively satisfied the prepared content does not break any laws, we’re not so sure about this audience participation. We each had a couple of goes at it and didn’t see anything wrong with it, but we’re not sure whether this will always be the case.

“Obviously, we wouldn’t want them to mislead us and perform something different on the night –especially when dealing with something so serious. Therefore we have insisted that the senior members of Scotland Yard are present at all performances and personally observe the ‘Audience Participation’ parts.”

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